I had a dream that my brother had his girlfriend. She was staying over more than usual and one night I came downstairs and all her stuff was in the living room along with three other kids. my brother then said she's pregnant and that he wants her to keep it and he wants to raise it as a family so she's moving in. I went psycho and tried to push her down the stairs,I just wanted to get rid of her. but it didn't work. so I went even more psycho in the kitchen and I grabbed a knife and was threatening everyone, what the hell, it was a weird dream.
For some reason I only feel like putting the end of my dream this time. I was on a train and I got my sticks wet but I didn't know anyone really on the train so this guy offered to give me his socks, I was really grateful. Once my socks were off he all of a sudden changed his mind. I guess that was just one of my insecurities coming out in dream form (even though I am always barefoot.) Then it switched to Kat and I talking. We were walking some where and I guess she didn't want to be my friend anymore but I still tried hard to be hers. It was mostly about music, I was singing the wrong lyrics to a song but I was having a good time so I didn't care. So Kat changed to genre of music, it was like frank Sinatra type of music. I guess she thought I didn't know who it was but I did.
Kinda wishing I could skip to the point... I don't feel like putting all the details down. Anyway it was basically how Kat and i's relationship was throughout highschool and the years after. Long story short, she full of shit and it took me over 6 years to realize it. Then it switched to some white woman being quite mean to me but me acting like it doesn't phase me, like I usually act. I guess they are expecting me to be ghetto or something, which I am far from. She told me I was going to be a slave, so I told her, okay cool. She was like... dumbfounded. My"slave master" was her 6 year old daughter. Everything she told me to do, I did. Literally everything. Like for example, she told me to eat some ants. I did, but as I was doing it I was talking to god and the ants. "Please don't bite me, I don't want to eat you but she's making me" so they didn't, it was almost like the world knew I was being treated bad by other people that I didn't deserve to be treated bad by any other means. That's kinda how I feel now. It then skipped to my mom arguing with me about being black and how white people want everything people of color have. Our lips and bodies and our confidence. Which I think is true. I think women want to be us and men can't help but love us. I mean... Am I lying? I actually feel pretty cocky right now, I never feel cocky. I dont like the feeling. Towards the end a boy on Facebook that looked just like Dyllan but he had a different name. He wouldn't add me, and that frustrated me. (Idk why this was important but I remember it lol, maybe it's because I feel like I try to hard to be in his life and he just want me to be) Anyways, um im actually getting pissed off cause I hate swiping on my phone. I don't know what to dream about anymore, not just today but every time, and I'm hungry, I didn't eat dinner. None of that was important, I guess I'm just rambling since I have no one to talk to. |
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